A Few Scoops of Vanilla

The recent stuff I've been making is a lot less sexy and stylish than I can feel good about, but hopefully that will change soon. I'm trying to teach myself how to digitally color stuff though, so I got some good practice in with a picture I drew of some wizards that kind of (completely unintentionally) look like Osama Bin Laden. Granted, that picture looks a little more like the world inside of my head than some other stuff I've made.

 I started with a 12'' x 12'' square of black paper, cut it up and glued all of the pieces to a big section of bristol paper. You know, because I'm in kindergarten...

A promotional poster. This kind of feels like you took a wrong turn off of a Mario Kart 64 track into a hidden camp of Al-Qaeda wizards who all just finished bleaching their hair. (If you "right click / view image" you can see the detail better).

My friend got this tattooed on her leg, which I think is so sick and quite humbling. And definitely not vanilla (in my opinion).

Nancy Boys

I made some tshirt designs for my friends' band, Nancy. I think they decided to go with the 40 and the Vitruvian Ronald. Anyway, these are some of the ideas I came up with. You can get Nancy's music from this site www.nancymommy.bandcamp.com. I think you can contact them from there if you want to get a shirt. Nancy rocks!

 Let's go boys, smokes.

I think the final shirt design will have the spider removed from the bottle (for some rock and roll reason I'm not quite sure I understand).

This is wrong for so many reasons.

This is right for so many reasons.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

I've been working on some projects other than drawing, and I just finished two of them. First, here's a couple of songs I recorded. They're some song concepts I had for a full length album that I'm still working on.

 http://franciscoldwater.bandcamp.com/




The other project I finished was a PSA warning that the government made me create about the dangers of coffee wine.

Koffing and Cigarettes

So I have a box of those t-shirts that I've been talking about for awhile. Right now I only have men's mediums and larges. I'm selling them for $10 if anyone's interested. I know that's alot for a shirt but I've started working on a graphic novel and I need to get a bunch of really nice pens and paper and photo-editing software soon. Consider it a donation to the graphic novel and you get a commemorate t-shirt. Here are some photos of a professional model who happened to be around today and willing to throw on one of the shirts (for a very large fee). Also a few other things I had lying around.

 I can guarantee that you'll look great in one of these shirts (but probably not as good as Ray).

"Ray's lookin' good," thinks Dan. "Very good..."

Album art for the upcoming Francis Coldwater EP.

While it would be illegal for me to sell alcohol without a license, and especially illegal to sell caffeinated alcohol in Massachusetts, if I were to have an exorbitant amount of home-brewed coffee wine for sale than this would be the label I designed for the bottles and you should email me for information about how to purchase this delicious coffee wine.

I Don't Like Kids

My friend wrote a poem that he asked me to illustrate. I can't post the poem but I can show you the pictures I illustrated for it. It's kind of for kids but also kind of scary. Just like the rest of my life.

This is the grossest thing I've ever drawn.

Guess to whom the leg belongs? (Technically, it belongs to the gnome now.)

Hive Mind

Yep, another skull. Because it's really much easier to just inject cheap symbolism into your art than to actually work hard at developing your own themes and style.

Live slowly and die eventually.

Me, Me, Me

I think I'm going to use this image for some shirts I'm getting made. Make no mistake, I completely understand the delusional egotism involved in printing a shirt with you're own face on it to help promote an artistic endeavor that's going absolutely nowhere. But firstly, its really just for fun. Secondly, I think its an unfortunate reality that in today's vast ocean of artists/musicians you need to shamelessly self promote yourself to get anywhere serious with your creative projects. So here's the devil I sold my integrity to.

My better half

Floating

I might be getting some shirts made by Cedar Graphics in Bolton Landing, NY. Here's one idea I had, but I'm not sure if its possible to make this a t-shirt yet. I'll let you know when the final design is ready. Either way, make sure to check out Cedar Graphics and send them lots of money.

You've looked at the blog for free for long enough.

A Grave, Grave World

Getting ready for some big projects as soon as I can make my way out of this icy wasteland where I find myself. Until then, I'm stuck inside of my own head, where things like this inevitably pop up.

 Gridface

An old polaroid I found of me and Grave from the 80's.

Bad Ideas

I drew a couple tattoo ideas for a friend (yes, I have friends). But first, a trip into the crystals caves.

Lonely and Strange

I'm doing a huge piece that involves drawing a bunch of cranes as soon as I get some really big paper. My mom taught me how to make paper cranes when I was really little and I think they're one of the coolest things ever.

 This one was rejected so if anyone wants to get this tattooed I can redraw and customize it for you.

Yeah, I'm back to the skulls. I don't want to talk about it.

And I'm So 'Nati 'Nati, I Might Take Over The State

Who is the mysterious MC Fuck? Maybe just an Illuminati puppet (just maybe), but in any case they commissioned me to do a piece for them, so at the risk of upsetting the 'Nati I'm gonna post it up with a link to some of their fresh-as-hell beats. And this probably goes without saying but I really hope its a pretty girl.

Click here for fresh beats.

My new social club has hooked it up once again.

I Have Seen the Dummy and It Is Corny

I'm so stupid. On the plus side we now have classic, vintage Corny Art posters for sale. But first, a comic for you.

There are always like 1000 problems involved when interacting with people.

 CORNY ART VINTAGE POSTERS FOR SALE!!!

AVAILABLE IN OTHER COLORS, THE PURPLE ONES ARE JUST MOST BOSS.

The Hindencob Disaster

About once a day, I have to ask myself, "Is this the worst thing I've ever done?" The answer's usually pretty iffy but at least this week I had some solid arguments.

This is gonna be the watermark on my one way ticket to hell.

 Here's the ghost of all things decent and just. He's very excited to come punish me.

skulls

Some more skull tattoo attempts and a picture my new friends demanded I create.

Attempt #3

Hopefully getting closer to making it perfect, I'm sick of staring into my mortality's hollow eye sockets.

Any one feel like buying a coke and cranking up the top 40?

If I were a comic

I recently moved thousands of miles away from anyone I know, so in case anyone has been wondering how my new life is, I drew these comics to try and explain. But first, a couple of skulls. Of course I've become one of those people that draws skulls. Now I'm only one step above those people who used to draw those 'S's on school desks everywhere. Seriously wasn't everything covered in those back in the early 2000's? You know the ones that look pseudo-graffiti'y', pointy tops and bottoms and the two ends of the 'S' connect behind the main diagonal in the middle? Knowing my luck that's gonna become retro or something and everyone's gonna start doing it again and I'm gonna be back on the bottom rung of the artistic ladder, artificially injecting symbolism into my pictures by pretending the skulls represent something dark and I'm misunderstood and have some intimate artist's relationship with death and even though you want to get to know me and show me that life can be so much more than the gloomy whirlwind of apathy I've turned it into, I'm really just gonna push you away with how boring and obnoxious I am and wind up really out of shape and alone watching tv and eating cheetos in my tiny flat until 4:00am every night for the rest of my stupid pointless life.

I already posted this but I added the red in here. As to why I felt I needed to post it before I finished it...

My second attempt for the tattoo. Still not right but better. Kind of. 

HERE BE COMICS

My chess.com account name is 'corny2'. Because someone else who plays online chess chose 'corny' as their name. If anyone has any information regarding 'corny' on chess.com please contact me immediately.

 But you already knew that, didn't you?

 It's a party and I'm not invited. 

If only this were real...

Sketchbook

I found out my new home has a really fancy scanning machine that looks like its off of a spaceship (no joke), so here's some stuff out of my sketchbook. I won't have access to nice paper for awhile so I'm only going be doing stuff like this for the time being. Also, if anyone wants me to design a tattoo for them, let me know. They're alot of fun to draw so I'll do it for free (but its never really free, is it?)

 A preliminary drawing for a skateboard design, only its not gonna look anything like this.

Check out Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats if you think this is cool (they're a band).

 Self portrait (2013).

Have you ever been asked where you're ideas come from? I haven't.

 The eyeballs don't seem to do too well outside of that box.

 Maybe a tattoo for a friend, but I'm still working on it.

Or don't.

A big old hug.

It's the Pentagram!

I've been working on a cool new project that's not quite done, but until that's ready here are two drawings I did for fun. Also don't forget, 5$ high quality prints make great (cheap) holiday gifts for your acquaintances.

Sign of The Wolf

A poster I made for Pentagram (they didn't ask me to). It's a dodecahedral prison for the eyeball-man.

Whatever

Nobody reads these statements anyway.